Monday, November 5, 2007

Waking the Child (revised)

Cedar dashes through the pines,
the dazzled weave of eyes, hands, feet
and red squirrel’s queried voice
bear out his unspoken bond with the
life of the forest

His marvel over things seen and unseen
repeats this motto: “Be as a question.”

Through his wonder
I awake to find:
we all ask questions within—
but a child puts his Heart in his mouth.

Diindiis hangs in the balance,
the giggled twirl of golden leaves
and blonde upside-down hair,
the feet of a blue jay wrapped nimbly
around Birch branches.

His monkey’s eye view reminds me that the
seer chooses his every perspective.

Through his delight,
I awake to see
we all desire joyful lives—
but a child puts Heart in his action.

Their Heartspeaking
is what teaches me,
not about finding my
inner child, (for she was never lost)

She has been stifled, sleeping and dreaming,
waiting for the right time to awaken.

I set her free this morning.
The question: what animal would I be…?
I ran, arms wide—wings spread—
swooping, the call of Owl on the wind:
Wake up, child! Wake up!

2 comments:

Derek said...

I don't know if like this revision better or not. At points for sure. The opening is more descriptive and I like the ending a lot. "The question" part is more explicit, and though it was in the other poem, it's more explicit here. I didn't see how it tied the poem together before. It's very nice. That being said, maybe it doesn't need to be as explicit. I'm probably not the brightest crayon and I'm sure others would come on to it better, and there's something to be said about hiding things in the piece, a little. I don't know, I'm just rambling now. One part I'm having trouble with is the stanza beginning "Their Heartspeaking is what..." You say it's not about finding the inner child, but then I'm left wondering what it is that they're teaching you? Why mention this? I feel like there's something important being left out and it hangs me up a bit. I may be missing something again though also.

LCM said...

Hrm. Okay. I'm pondering your comments. Honestly, I think I am writing this poem to fit a "prompt." Which is a website for Teaching Drum (the school I'm at) to invite more families/children.

OK. I'm working on it. Thanks.