The ground vomits up the wall
In a green, gray, brown mass of stone, moss and dirt,
Spewing forth a line of boulders
With some rocks scattered to either side.
Twenty feet later, the dilapidated wall
Falls back into the earth which first belched it up.
The soil swallows it back under and
Digests it into pebbles and then sand, then dirt.
Long ago the wall kept captive herds,
But now it only serves to support the moss
Which drags it down, down into the ground
And eventually the wall will cease to stand up.
This is an old poem. I just wanted to see how this whole posting thing worked. New stuff is on the way!
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3 comments:
I really like this poem--although 'I have a little trouble with the final line--I'm not sure why. I'll ponder it.
I especially like this line: "spewing forth a line of boulders",not to mention the entire analogy of the chewing/belching/bodily grossness. :)
Yeah, I guess I've not thought about it much, but I think I see the issue, although maybe it's something else entirely. Anyways, that last line isn't strong enough, it's too passive. Instead of moss making the wall unable to stand, it should be slowly crumbling the wall or something along those lines, something more visible. Merely "...ceas[ing] to stand up" isn't very exciting at all.
Yes. That's exactly what it is. all of the other verbs are so active- "drags it down" "swallows it back under" "digests it into pebbles". Those images are so incredible and then the end is--like you said, too passive.
Also, I imagine that you saw a wall like this somewhere, and it sparked the poem. May I just say that I absolutely love the fact that you appreciate the beauty and...well...death of the wall in this way. Very cool poem.
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