Monday, December 3, 2007

empty shells

dancing shells on white sands
empty caverns, old homes
where have the souls flown?

2 comments:

LCM said...

I know we already talked about this one, Jazzzy, but I do really love these images.

The mystery is also a key aspect to this poem--it might be worth developing a bit more, just to see where you could take it!

Derek said...

This is a nice little short piece. I like it. I agree with Laura on the mystery of the poem. Maybe changing the title to something more ambiguous so the reader must figure out that we're talking about empty shells here would help with that. Ambiguity seems to be the theme currently, not laying everything out for the reader. I think it's probably a good idea. You can be explicit without being obvious. But, as always, do what you will.